Indelible Impression


Impression

I didn’t dare to meet your gaze
unwilling to let you see
the longing in my eyes

I looked instead at your hands
resting on the table
but I didn’t dare to reach out
and hold them
for fear I wouldn’t let go

So I let you walk away
and held on to
the indelible impression
you made on my heart

©2017 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved

Letting Go


Catapult

Toes curl for a foothold
as the sands run out
beneath your feet
washed away
by an onrushing wave
Yes, it’s foolish
to venture into the depths
when you can’t swim
But inviting waters beckon
and who can resist
foolhardy impulses
after a lifetime of restraint
Who wants to think
about doing what’s right
once doubt’s paralysis
loosens its grip
But then the water
rises above your head
You hold your breath
scrabbling for the earth
That moment of madness
now floods your lungs
Shouldn’t have catapulted
into the deep end of life
without an anchor
But if you stayed safe
on the shore
how would you know
the thrill of drowning
the joy of letting go

© 2017 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved

Descent Into Depression


Adrift
Razor sharp teeth
rip apart
the slumbering dawn
rudely awakening
a reluctant day
Loneliness
a beast unsatiated
Ever seeking
to stamp its emptiness
on life
Draining the colour
from everything it touches
taking the shine away from the sun
the sparkle from the stars
the glow of the moon
Tipping solitude over the edge
into depression’s black hole
where no emotions exist
turning energy into apathy
A soul set adrift in nothingness
barely able to remember
memories of shared times
the comfort of reaching out
for a hand to hold
the balm of a shoulder
to rest a weary head
the magic of eyes meeting
in a roomful of faces
Now there are only
infinite vacant moments
adding up to a unwanted lifetime

© 2017 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved

Umoored


Unmoored
I will be fine, I say, weaving the reluctant words
into a blanket of pretence I wrap around myself
not noticing the shroud of silence that it has become

I see myself as a romantic recluse
turning my back on the harsh truths
that will illuminate the lies I tell myself

The seclusion I profess to embrace with such ardour
silently digs its fangs into me, filling me with venom
that poisons the courage I need to get through each day

The walls I’ve built crowd menacingly around me
The solitude I once craved is suffocating
And I drift, umoored, in an empty world

© 2017 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved

Season of Storms


Descend
It’s the season
for rumblings
in the heavens
the skies dripping
inky black
cumulative clouds
bearing heavy burdens
jagged forks
knifing through the air
nature’s fury setting
the evening ablaze
before it relents
drenching the earth
with cleansing tears

Calm descends
but the storm within
rages on

© 2017 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved

Redemption


Notorious
Crimson smeared lips
Mussed up hair
Cothes askew
Furtive deed done
she stares down
with cloudy eyes
at calloused hands

clutching much-needed notes
Unsteady on stilettos
that drive a spike
into a heart
twisted with dismay

she walks the streets
contemplating a descent
that takes her
deeper
farther
from the heaven
she set out to find

Broken by fate
bloodied by circumstance
she sold her body
but held on to her soul

Is she the author
of her notorious destiny
A damning indictment
or does she still have time
to script her salvation

© 2017 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved

Recipe For Disaster


Farce

The smooth shell
defies me
But I must break the egg
to set free
The cake I want to bake
For you

A gentle tap
Creates a crack
Spreading on the surface
Hard to keep track
As the liquid mess
Leaks out

Like my heart
When it breaks
How your indifference
Makes it ache
To be whole
Once again

Now it is done
Yellow yolk
Like sunshine in a bowl
Waiting to soak
In the flour
I add

A cupful of sugar
Toss in
a handful of raisins
From the tin
Whisk it all into a
Pale confusion

Will it rise
Golden brown
This gooey, sticky mix
Or sink down
into a failed attempt
Like our love

The hot oven
Is an angry red
Stray embers rising
From the dead
Debris of our
Relationship

No courage to face
the heat
I pour a shot of whiskey
Drink it neat
Dump the dessert

End this farce

© 2017 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved